I'm sick of seeing people hurt. I'm sick of seeing people stuck in the darkness, waiting for the faintest glimpse of light.

I'm sick of seeing so many tears, painful glances and burden hearts.

I'm sick of crushed lives and defeated souls.

I'm sick of seeing the reflection of me in other people. It scares me, almost, to know people have struggle. I hate knowing that others face some of things I have. There are paths I wish no one would stumble upon, yet they do.

So, I made a promise to love. To love everyone, nonstop. Every time I feel unloved, I will love. You get it? Who cares if I have no one to love me, even if I know that's not true. I can be the lover and give love to those who have never experienced it. I made the promise long ago and hope to keep it, as long as I live.

So, person, whoever you are, that feels unloved, alone and afraid. I love you. It might sound strange, but I freakin' love you. And I'm not the only one. God loves you. Yeah, cheesy, right? Well, he does and always will.

I love you. God loves you. I think thats all you need, but I promise you...you'll get more love.

Never forget to love.

What Star Trek Has To Do With Marriage (Sort Of)

My mom and I stopped at the library today on the way home and snagged a couple books. As I was gathering my books the liberian asked if I had gotten one of their newest bookmarks. I hadn't and didn't exactly want to, but took one anyway, because I adore our liberians and could never say no to them. 

While looking at their selection, my mom noticed a Star Trek one. They, my mom, the liberians and this one other lady, who just happened to be there, started to talk about Star Trek. Long story short; the conversation turned on to marriage. By the end, I learned that almost all of those ladies had been divorced, including my mom. 

I know what your first thought is. Marriage just isn't sacred anymore. The world has ruined it. 

Well, let me start with this: All these ladies were 40 or above, so this is nothing new. And, sadly, it's not just marriage being forgotten. It has a lot to do with how most people view marriage. 

Quick, what is the first image that comes to mind when you read the word marriage? I'd guess a happy couple, curled up on the couch together, sharing popcorn, or something along those lines. We see enjoyable images that make us feel all bubbly inside. Am I right? 

I'm going to burst those bubbles and tell you that marriage isn't suppose to be like that. Before you take that the wrong way; what I'm trying to say is that marriage isn't going to be rainbows and butterflies. In fact, the beauty of marriage is the times were there are NOT rainbows and butterflies, but thunder and lightning. 

If you truly love someone, like your brother or sister for example, you'll be with them even when you're angry with each other or struggling through a rough patch in life. I believe God designed marriage to be full of test and trials because that's the only way to prove you truly love someone. If marriage was happy things 99% of the time, when you hit that 1% that is bad, would you last? No, because you wouldn't be use to it. 

That being said, let's get back to how you see marriage. If you're a kid who grew up with married parents, you might know what true marriage is like, or you might be fooled. What I see a lot of parents doing is trying to sugar coat what goes on behind the scenes, when the kids aren't around, or what's going on inside their head. Kids, especially by books and T.V shows, are fed this idea that marriage is nothing but sugar, spice and everything nice. 

Being a kid of a divorced couple, I've had the chance to view marriage differently. I've been forced to sit down and think about that love and marriage really are. I could have satisfied myself with sappy soaps rich with cheesy romance, but instead I looked at the past in order to help shape my future. I noticed that there is no such thing as a 'perfect' marriage. If there were, the secret would be out by now. And, if there were a perfect marriage, it wouldn't be because they shared ice cream together while snuggled on the couch. No, it would be because they climbed each mountain, tackled each giant, and scaled every wall together. It would be because they leaned on each other when they felt weary and loved each other, even if they were angry at one another.  And most of all, it would be because they loved that person all the more when they struggled and fought. 

I'm not saying marriage doesn't have any happy and cheery moments, because it does. It's full of it. But it's also full of the bad, hard-times that test you, but make you stronger. When you think about it,that's how our relationship with God works. If it wasn't for the hard times, we'd never get closer to God. And God set up marriage like the relationship between him and us. We're all in the most beautiful marriage possible with Christ and doesn't he promise us that there will be hard times? But the real beauty is in those times, right? It proves to us that our God will not abandon us, no matter what. 

And that's what a real marriage is. It's not the rainbow and butterflies that we dream about. Honestly, I find it more romantic when it's tears and heartache, but that person, your lover, is still there. Everyone can make it through good times, but only the strongest can make it through the tough times. 

Remember, when you get married, that you said "for better or for worse", which means you'll be together no matter what. Don't let your imagination fool you on what marriage is. It's the union of two people, who can't be separated, not even by the hands of the devil. 

My boring lecture is now over. Enjoy! :]

With Much Love, 

God. Love. Great Things Like That.

I guess I should tell you, I have this trust issue. (I know, I know, just about everyone does.) But, up till recently, my ability to trust was so terrible...I didn't even believe my family loved me. When I was only ten, I came to the conclusion that God didn't actually loved me, but tolerated me.

Now?

No need to fear, I know God loves me. I still might have my doubts everywhere else, but no one, not even that little voice in the back of my head, can tell me that my almighty, powerful God doesn't love me. Where I was tortured for years has been healed and it feels so good. I haven't realized that till now, nearly two years after I finally realized that God gave every little thing for me.

I owe everything to him. I think we all do.

So, whenever you feel like no one, not even God can love you, remember that if God can love me...he can love you. 1 John 4: 7-21 says:

" Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. ¹³ This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. ¹⁶ And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
   God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. ¹⁷ This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
 ¹⁹ We love because he first loved us. ²⁰ Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. ²¹ And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister."

God is love, people! How could he not love is?Isn't it amazing, to think that even if the whole world hated, loathed,  and every other word for hate, God will always love us. And, if I have God's love...that's enough. That's more than enough. 

I wish my love for God was enough of a return, because nothing replace the overflowing love from God. Nothing. I can't say it enough...nothing. 

God freakin' loves you. 

'Her Children Will Rise Up and Call Her Blessed...'

Proverbs 31:28: "Her children will arise and call her blessed.."

I don't know if you know, but my mother is a single mother. My mother is a working mother. My mother is a homeschool mother. My mother is a mother of four.

My mother is a blessing from God.

I know, from your view, your mom is much better. But, no. My mother can only be the best mother for me. God really knew what he was doing when he stuck a crazy, insecure, head-in-the-clouds-type-of-girl with my mom, a sensible, thoughtful and wise woman, who, even though she has her flaws, makes everything worth while.

Lately, school has been killing me, since I missed two weeks from being sick. I nearly had a break down today. I was almost crying, which made me upset, which made the tears worse, so on and so forth..., but my amazing mother, the woman I call blessed, sent me this e-mail just hours ago:

 Lia,I am very proud of you for trying to do your work independently. You have tried very hard to understand and do things on your own. But trying to do it all on your own is causing you a great deal of stress, which makes doing schoolwork very difficult. As you have seen with your breathing, your health is affected by the way you handle stress. Therefore we must find positive ways for you to deal with the challenges in your life. There will always be challenges, both good (wow! I get to drive!)and bad (oh no! I ran out of gas!) so it's important to learn ways to approach these things in your life. As for your school work, remember: Mr. B----- doesn't set your grades, I do. Therefore, the worst that can happen is you turn stuff in late, or you do poorly on the final exam. Even these situations can be amended. If you do poorly on the exam, you can be retested. They do it all the time in public school. SO---take a deep breath and work your plan. Do what you can and leave the rest to God. Don't beat yourself up or use negative thoughts. In fact, if you feel really upset, quote Bible verses out loud or use simple thoughts to change how you look at things. Instead of "I can't do this", think "I will work on this bit by bit until it is done." Instead of "I can't understand", think "If I don't understand, I can ask others for help." or "Sometimes new information is hard to understand for everybody. I will work on understanding in sections and will ask for help."These things are true!!!I am smart.I am capable.I am a hard worker.I am creative.I can ask for help.I can make mistakes and then learn from them.I can remain calm and think about ways to solve a problem. Do not panic. Look at each day, not at all the days ahead, and balance yourself in that day. Thank God for what happens in that day. I love you very much and I will not be mad at you if you ask for help. We are in this together;  you are NOT alone. And you will do fine, I promise. You take care of yourself--enough sleep, exercise, sunshine, nutritious food, daily medicines/supplements, and one thing to look forward to each day. Also, a few minutes in the Bible and in prayer each and every day. The rest will fall into place. Love, Mom 

I love you mom, I really do.

I promise to get you that house you want, no matter what.

From left to right: My Aunt Jean, my Mom, Uncle Arthur, Aunt Julie. [I DO NOT OWN THIS PICTURE.]

Love,

Lia

Love, Love, Love.

What is love? Why do we all want it? Why do we all need it?
Huh, I'm not really sure.

Everywhere I go, everything I see, everyone I know is obsessed with love. They might not know it but they are. I know I am. The whole world has been obsessed with love since day one.

Agape Love...Unconditional
Philios Love...Friendship

Eros Love...Romantic.


Everyone experiences the Philios Love [I think I got all the names right.] From One to a Hundred we do. It's a fact of life. But what does everyone long for? Agape Love--but we think we long for Eros Love. Why? Well we see it, want in and think we need it. Eros love only comes from humans. We can see humans and can feel them. We can only get Agape Love from Christ. But what if we don't believe in him or think he cares? We go after the Agape Love.

To tell you the truth I'm afraid of Eros Love. I sometimes find myself saying I don't believe in it which means I don't believe in Agape Love.

I guess my parents fallen marriage has to do with it but there's so much more than that.Everything I see---around me. I just don't get it sometimes. I'm sure most people don't.

Love. It's such a funny word. So pure, yet so distorted.

I guess I just want to know what it really is. What is love? Who is love? I know the Good-Christian child answers and I know their true. But I've never seen it. Anywhere.

The worlds a funny place.